Getting my head together

It’s been a massive lack of updates. Plenty has happened since the SEA Championships in Singapore. For one, I massively bombed out in the final, missing out on a medal. Just didn’t go fast enough. No one to blame but myself. I guess that’s the result for the lack of race work building up to it. It hit me pretty hard, anticipating the criticism that awaits me from management. And so it did.

Apparently my desire to improve and go faster is clearly not being supported. It’s clear I needed to be in a place where I am constantly pushed and challenged by others, regularly coached. I have not been able to make the boat move any faster, despite my ramp up in mileage and intensity. Motivation has been at an all time low. These issues clearly mean nothing to management because my move to row with Mercs was welcomed by a string of politically defensive and tense emails. To keep it short, I have been informed that I did not meet their standards to make the World Championship squad. Once again, I’m missing out.

Looking on the bright side, I’ll get to spend more time in Melbourne. Time here is going to be crucial as I look for the missing link that’s holding my boat speed back. An athlete shouldn’t have to be put through all the politics. I have never hoped to be involved in any way, but maybe my desire to maximize my potential is inviting all of this. Plenty of what ifs bouncing around in my head: what if I won a medal and still came over? What if I didn’t win a medal and stayed behind? In my opinion, whatever the case is, I’ll still be short changed.

Frustrated and disappointed. It’s time to put that energy in the water. The next time they see me, I’m going to leave every crew on Pandan in my wake. And that’s a promise